Who am I anyway?
Am I my resume?
If you’re familiar with the musical A Chorus Line, you may remember these lines from “I Hope I Get It,” a big song and dance number with hundreds of dancers auditioning to make the cut. Although I’m certainly not a professional dancer in NYC in the ’70s, I totally can relate. I am in showbiz in LA, where the good jobs are hard to find, and it seems like there are perpetually lots more job-seekers than open positions. Plus, I’m someone who needs a purpose, so I’ve historically used my job to define a large part of who I am.
I’m currently between jobs (as is par for the course in the entertainment industry), and I’m feeling a little lost as a result. I’m trying to view this time as an opportunity to really tune in and figure out my next step in life, but instead I’m just sorta… floating. Do I want to continue working in the industry? I like what I do, but there is no long-term job stability. Can I deal with the inevitable financial uncertainty in all the years down the road? If you’re lucky, you can work on a hit tv show for multiple years, or find a big budget movie for maybe a year. If you’re lucky. So far, I’ve had a little luck. But I’ve hit some bumps in the road that have me questioning things. It shouldn’t be this hard to figure out what I want, right? After all, the only person I have to please at the moment is me.
What should I try to be?
So many faces all around and here we go.
I need this job. Oh, God, I need this show.