Local Color

Even though I grew up in South Florida, I’ve lived in California for a little over a decade now, which gives me a unique perspective on reviewing the local flavor.  I have a few SoFla-related anecdotes I’d like to share with you.

 

1.  My dog (husky mix) tried to climb a palm tree.

Unfortunately, canine paws are not meant for tree climbing.  But there was a squirrel that Akela really, really wanted to chase (eat?) who ran up the tree, so she tried to follow it.  It was adorable.  And hilarious.  I’m sure it was funny for the squirrel, too, since he was mocking her from safe in the palm fronds.

 

2. People in South Florida have fahncy cars.

I passed a house that had a Bentley and a Porche parked in the driveway.  You may or may not be mildly impressed to hear that.  However, know that this house also had a 4-car garage.  If the Bentley and the Porche have to be parked outside, I can only imagine what’s IN the garage.

 

3. Speaking of fahncy cars, people are sort of ostentatious.

A guy down the street from my dad has a white Tesla.  There was a mobile Tesla service van with two technicians working on his car, and I was walking my dog, so I got to be nosy without being super obvious.  He parks his Tesla outside every. single. day.  But the charging station for his electric vehicle is INSIDE the garage.  So do you think he parks it outside just to say to the neighbors, “Haha, look at my fahncy Tesla, you suckers!  You don’t have as awesome as a car as I do!”?

 

4. South Floridians make, um, interesting fashion choices.

Approximate 2/3 of white people aged 15-50 seem to wear workout attire as their primary uniform.  There is no way that THAT many people are on the way to the gym or just finishing a jog or a yoga class.  I mean, SoFla has always been casual, but there is a LOT of spandex going on here.  Hmmm…

 

5. Really interesting fashion choices.

I passed a foursome of 50-something golfers, and I kid you not, 3 of the gentlemen were wearing pink.  One had on a fuchsia tee, another had a BRIGHT magenta polo, and the third had baby pink shorts.  (The 4th was wearing an orange and white striped polo.)  Don’t get me wrong, I totally think that real men can rock pink and look awesome doing it.  But 3/4 middle aged men?  Do you think 3 of them called each other to ask what the others were wearing, like teenage girls do?  Here’s how I imagine that conversation going:

<<ring ring>>

Bob: Hello?

Irv: Hi Bob, it’s Irv.  Say, what are you wearing to golf today?

Bob: Oh, I was thinking about my fuchsia t-shirt.

Irv: Oh perfect!  I’ve got on my magenta polo, and Stan says he’s wearing his pink shorts.

Bob: What about Harvey?

Irv: I didn’t talk to Harvey.

Bob: You didn’t talk to Harvey?

Irv: Yeah, I’m mad at Harvey.  Don’t tell him we’re all wearing pink.  He gave Pearl down at the club his phone number even though he knew I liked her first.

Bob: Ok.  Say, we should make Stan ride in the golf cart with Harvey, and you can ride in mine.

Irv: Sounds like a plan.  See you at 10.

<<click>>

 

So there you have it: my notes from out in the field.  I know Austin’s slogan is “Keep Austin Weird” but I gotta say, South Florida is a little odd at times, too.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Local Color

  1. LOL!!!! All funny because it’s true!
    The same thing happened to me and my dog! I brought my dog Happy with me for the summer. I would walk him every evening on the golf course and one time he chased a squirrel up a palm tree. I kid you not! Happy, however, was about 1/3 the size of your dog and was a climber. He could climb anything.

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